This is my only public post for special reasons!
So I am reading Merrick, finally. The book that should not be called one the Vampire Chronicles....Now David sir, our unfortunate narrator of this last installment of the beloved series, I have a message to you:
I had heard previously that you had a thing for young Merrick, (young being 14 years old) but I was under no impression that it was truly that bad until while turning your pages I realize you speak of Merrick's 14 year old breasts a little to often...just when I think that is the worst, I flip the page to an another scene and think to myself "No, he did not just go there..." Oh damn, you did just go there. And with a young boy to? No wonder the child ended up traumatized and messed up. Ah, dear David...you have taken the reward for the first ever book in the Vampire Chronicles that I have actually skimmed parts of...only ever stopping to really read when I hear Louis or Lestat or some real and worthwile member of the Chronicle's name appear.
As I am forced to read your pointless rambling about your life as an old child molester, I keep silently begging to myself, PLEASE LESTAT! WAKE UP FROM YOUR SLEEP AND TURN OFF THAT MUSIC YOU ARE LISTENING TO! FIND DAVID, STAB HIM WITH HIS PEN AND TAKE OVER THIS BOOK! PLEASE! WE NEED YOU!
And all of your claims of "being incredibly strong and powerful" and all that blah blah, well sir, I challenge you to go insult Maharet or Mekare or someone and see how strong you really are! Bitch please, stop kidding yourself.
I have another award to give to you. Worst character ever. EVER. Its an insult to think I thought Daniel or lets just call him "fishing Maruis" was equal with you in the worst character catergory, but no...they are GODS, GODS, compared to you. I am half tempted to go bail the nearest pyromaniac out of jail and send him in the direction of where you slumber saftley during the daylight hours.
The only reason you were allowed to write this book is cause Lestat was all off in his coma while you did it. I cant wait till Claudia comes back, I hope she rips your ass a new one.
And oohhh bitch if you were around while Akasha was loose...::fantasizes::
If you ever tried to stalk me in some back street of Paris at night, I'd just turn around and laugh, point in the direction of the nearest elementry school and you'd scamper off completley distracted in that direction all eager and hot...but no longer in the "thirst for blood" kind of eager and hot.....
I think you spent a bit to much time in the damned jungle. What the fuck is up with you going off into strange rambles and about strange and twisted gods and you worshipping them...? Um, yeah may your god Papa Bahajawajabawhatshisname strike you down.
So sir, Mr. Charming British gentleman, in conclusion,
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES DAVID? HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
"Yours in the Talamasca forever",